Honest with no advice...

Last night I stayed up late talking with an old friend of mine. We caught up on a lot of things then we got on the topic of dating and he confirmed what I guess I knew all along. But I think it is a universal truth that was spoken from a single man my own age... Honestly, I would think twice dating a chick with a kid, unless I, you know, already knew her. Like you and I , I already know you so that is different but I don't want to take on some one's other issues. Sorry to tell you that.
Hey, at least he was being honest. So I asked him, what do I do? Do I keep it to myself for the first date or two. I talk about work but what about the other 16 hours of the day? Do I just overlook what occupies 99% of my 'free' time? Obviously, I wouldn't chat about what happened on last night's Dora the Explorer, duh? Or do I mention it, be open and up front about it, and let them run?

My daughter, the cock-block...

I knew it would happen at some point and I even psyched my self up for it... it will weed out the losers. But it happened for real and not in my head! I went out on a date a week ago with GC. It was almost a blind date, he was a bartender I had been making "eyes" with and I got ballsy. I was going to just five him my number when I payed the check... but with my luck I got chicken-shit and he got busy so I sent my wing-gal up with digits in hand. The hand-off was a success but did you notice there was little to no conversation here... AKA_ I didn't even know his name!!! FFwd a week and a half later and I get a call and after working out some scheduling issues we met up.
Luckily, I remembered him when I saw him, phew! Which is more than I can say for some of the other dates I have had! Anyway, we talk and I find out that he helps design menus for area restaurants using local food, he knows a lot about wine and beer, he is a world traveler, and an artist whom is considering furniture making... In many ways Aiden from Sex and the City... Hhhmm, I can just imagine this fantasy life with Aiden, er, I mean, GC.
Oh, did I mention we went to the same high school? I graduated in 199... and he in 2001, the same year as my brother!! Thats besides the point, I can get past that because he is finishing up his master's degree in another country, one with rolling green hills and across an ocean from here. But that too, that is fine with me! That means no commitment and I am 100% down with that! A summer fling on a tight schedule... that might be just what the doctor ordered!
So over half way through the date (I tried to feel it out) I drop part of my bomb... Bug (I left the whole "D" thing out of it). He seems cool about it but things got a little weird after that. When dinner was over he walked me to my car and I told him I had a really nice time and he said he did too. No kiss, but he said he would call, I don't believe him but thats just my "mother's intuition".

A muli topic post...

A Calm Acceptance

To all of those who have a child ages 3 or older... go ahead and start laughing now. For all of those with a child ages 2-3... sympathize with me. And all of those with a child under the age of 2... ha ha ha... brace yourself!!

I have been saying since Bug was 18 months that I am already dealing with the dreaded "Terrible Twos" but the joke was on me because... now I am!!! I had the first full on temper tantrum this weekend over bedtime on Friday night. There was kicking, screaming, flailing arms, squirming, and near biting (thank God it was only near biting or it may have thrown me over the edge).

I realized early on in motherhood that there is a thing that I like to call a "calm acceptance" that we will all achieve. The first time I experienced this phenomenon Bug was a few weeks old and it was in the middle of the night. We were up most of the night and she was cluster feeding and I was nursing, aka... a really long night for me! Anyway, it was about 4 in the morning and I had gotten no sleep and she was screaming, there was nothing I could do. I hit frustration then I went flying straight past it. I was tensing up and so stressed out... at that point I understood how a mother could hurt her child (I don't condone it but I understand). I started crying, heck that is all I could do then all at once it was a peaceful calm that just washed over me, a "calm acceptance" that there was nothing more I could do, my patience had been restored, and we could get through it.

Well, it happened again the other night. It took me over a half hour to get her to calm down but I had the patience of a saint. She screamed and cried. I rocked her and sang to her and negotiated her way into bed. Oh well, she finally went to sleep and I had a glass of wine.

Tot Town

The most amazing place in the world... the indoor play gym in the mall. Perfect for the cold and/or nasty days... just like today! After nap time today I resorted to taking her to the mall to play. I am telling you it was like the dog park for toddlers. I laughed for almost an hour at the puppy like pile-ups and all of the uncoordinated running.

I think the only funnier thing than the kids was the parents themselves. There where the overly cautious mothers (they held their child's hand the entire time), the fathers watching their children while their spouse was shopping (they had a tired/ distracted look on their face if they were paying attention at all), and then there was the other parents like myself... in a class of their own, of course, no, seriously, the normal ones (you keep an eye on your child and once out of your sight for more than a reasonable amount of time (aka... time to climb up the ladder and slide down and reappear) you stand up search and if that nets nothing you walk around searching with a pang of terror coursing through your body till you see your child in three to five seconds which feels like a half an hour). I did however notice the added bonus of Tot Town aside from the given, a worn out toddler... hot dads!!! There was a beautiful one with a nice heart shaped face with neatly kept facial hair and big brown eyes whom struck up a conversation with me. Hmmm... I think Bug and I will visit more often for her motor skills development of course!! And that brings me to...

10 Hour Date... A Follow Up

Let me start by saying that yes, I will give him another shot. But I thought of something that a single buddy of mine once told me. I was recently separated and we were discussing her most recent beau and she said that she just wasn't all of that into him... he was "too available". I must have given her the craziest look, "Now your just making things up now, is that even possible?" She stuck to her guns, "Yes! Too available!" I am sure that all of my married friends share my sediments and disbelief but I am here today to admit that I am switching positions (like most of the candidates these days). Please take no offense to this but once you are out of the dating game you are out of it completely almost like someone erased your brain! I can say that, I was there too!! Anyway... Yes it is entirely possible to be "too available" and I think that T fits in there!!! The big date was last Saturday, he called Monday and wanted to meet me for coffee on Wednesday night (and he is a telephone talker), I saw him on Wednesday night, he called Friday and wanted to know my plans for Saturday (I already had plans to go out with J). Now thats a whole lotta communicatin' for only knowing someone for a week! And like I told you in the beginning... I will give it one more shot but this one is not looking promising. I'll keep you posted!