A shout out to my college friends...

I want to take a minute to say thank you to all of my buddies from college, especially my sorority sisters. Back in the day I used to say I was learning more "life lessons" than academics during my higher education years. Well, I have to say, in hindsight, I was mostly right but some of the academics did sink in at some point. Back to my point... One very improntant "life lesson" was used jut the other night while assisting Bug during her time of need... the stomach virus. Let me say here that it was a very unfortunate choice of of lunches I packed for her that day, tacos and oranges. Even though she liked it, still not a good sight in rewind!
So, here is where I say thank you to all of you whom I heard praying to the porcelin gods in the community restroom after 10pm on any given weekend (sometimes during the week, too) night. Thank you to all of you I witnessed hanging out a window, over a ledge or rail, or leaning against a tree (or side of a house) heaving all of your insides out. Thank you also to any of you I had to clean up after any of those unfortunate events, like in the inside of my old Nova. I won't mention any names, ok Shitter? ;) Because of all of you and your dedicated efforts I have developed a strong stomach that was able to take having said lunch spewed on me and the bathroom and the ablility to lovingly comfort Bug while cleaning up after her. Thank you, your efforts have not gone unnoticed or unappreciated!
"I can't be hard on you 'cauz you know I've been there too..."
-"Good Intentions" by Toad the Wet Sprocket

This kind of love...

So I am driving home tonight after an evening out with a friend of mine. We talked alot about life and what is going on. Anyway, on my way home this song is playing on the way home... "This Kind of Love". A beautiful song by Sister Hazel. I can relate... I felt that way once and I felt sad. I did feel that way and now I don't, not any more. That is the way I felt with X... Hmmph! Not the whole time, believe me but the heart has a way of forgetting all of the bad and remembering the good, oh well.
But where do I go from here? Where do I find that again, only better? My heart is closed for buisness and walled up and I wonder those on a daily basis! I want Prince Charming, the butterflies, and all of the hub-bub that goes along with it but... I am terrified to let it in. There I said it, I don't want to risk it for all of that hurt and pain again (now the weight loss was nice ;-) ) . I guess I am just stuck in limbo for now... I listen to love songs and dedicate them to Bug because God forbid there be anyone else. I (try to) keep myself safe for what... to listen to songs like this and remember, dream, or worse, to take a chance?
This may not have made sense to you... it is late and I'm tired but hey, it is what it is.

Ted and Stella...

Last night I sat down and watched one of the only shows I watch on a regular basis... How I Met Your Mother. I can't help it, I just really like that show! That crazy Barney, sweet Ted, horney Lilly, and dopey Marshall, and don't get me started on the fact that Robin was a pop-tart in Canada... Genius! Anyway, I love those characters and I love the newest one of them all... Stella. She is played by Sarah Chalke (also Elliott Reed from Scrubs), and is a single mom with a 6 year old daughter that just started dating Ted, well 2 months into it. I think the reason I lke her character so much is because it hits so close to home.
Last night we find out that she and Ted haven't slept together yet (2 months) but also that she hasn't had sex in 5 years! Side note... Not that long for me. Also that Ted hasn't met her daughter either. She hit the dail on the head... It all comes down to trust. It wasn't that she couldn't trust Ted, but she was afraid of getting hurt again. By the end of the show they close the deal but first she introduced Ted to her daughter. Lets face it... it is a sitcom, of course it would all work out!
Anyway, that brings me to my point... I have to confess something. I have trust and committment issues. But then again, who wouldn't in my shoes, right? Should I buy or rent? That is my big quesion now. I don't know if I want to committ to a house right now... what will happen in a few years. What about the bills that go with it? The repairs and yard work. I have a million what ifs and lets face it I may not be just talking about a house! I will get through these issues but for now I have my fence up and hopefully one day like Stella, I will meet my Ted.
PS- He better not screw this up or else I am never watching this show again!