I met the devil yesterday and he had dimples...

I came off of my xx-week gym hiatus yesterday. Wait, let me rewind a bit... I am not doing to make excuses as to why I haven't been going so I will just say I haven't been to the gym in a while. Anyway, recently I have been on edge and not able to shake it off any other way I have tried but no, that was not the breaking point. My breaking point came when I found the perfect dress for an 80's cover band show/ girl's night out. Picture this... A strapless black dress that isn't tight but definitely fits perfect with hot pink polka dots (small) all over with a black patent leather belt and I have the perfect patent leather wedge heels to go with it, I am so excited. Well, this dressing room, like all of the other God forsaken ones out there, makes the clothing look great, in turn, making you look great in it... Sold! Here is the best part... I found it at Goodwill for less than $8! So, I get home and try it on with my heels and strapless bra and, oh wait, what is that... a little puffiness by my arm fold? What won't do. Oooh, no, this is a bit more revealing than I remember too. And here comes the decision... Hmm, I need to drop about 5 lbs (the magic 5lbs we all need to loose) and this will be fabulous! Fast forward to yesterday... So yesterday was my first day back to the gym and calorie counting... I mean business; I hope I can last, the sow is 3 weeks away!
I get to the gym and change, I even remembered the combination to my lock, go me!! I heat to the elliptical trainer with a purpose, woman on a mission! Plug into Oprah and I am off!
Side note: The other day I made okra for dinner and Bug kept calling it Oprah. It was pretty funny!
Sorry, anyway, here I am ellipticaling away and I glance over to the mirror to make sure I don't look like a complete ass and OMG!! I look again, SHIT! Now it is like a freaking train wreck, I can't even will myself to look away... Damn that natural light from the windows, I saw cellulite on my thighs. Bear with me, this was the first sighting ever, so please let me be a little dramatic! I made the worst decision ever yesterday, I decided to wear shorts instead of my usual capris because of the false sense of security I had from my faint summer glow.
Well, as if I wasn't determined before, I am now. Wish me luck. But why me? Why me? Why? why? why....