Wednesday, December 12, 2007

So there is this drunk guy at a bar...

I am sure you have heard this one before but I promise you it's good! If I have told you this then pleas bear with me, if I haven't then you will enjoy this one!
So I went out with my cousin a few weeks ago to a bar close by. We weren't the youngest ones there by far but we weren't the oldest either. We chose a seat off to the side in a booth where we could chat and people watch. So, here we are in the midst of an involved debate over the pros and cons of thong underwear (important stuff, I know) when some young guy (25-26 yrs old) sits down next to me. He introduces himself then tells us he is a little drunk, he just came from an engagement party. **Warning! Warning! Admittedly drunk youngster... Nothing good can happen!** Anyway, he is talking about relationships, marriage and blah, blah, blah. Then he looks at me and asks, "How old are you, what, 26?" Drunk or not, I take the compliment but I am honest and say, "That is so sweet, but no" "Really? 27?" he bounces back with. "Thanks but no." He keeps going... "28?" "No" "29?" with a little desperation in his voice. "Still no." "30?" "Still sweet, but no." "31?" said with a sound in his voice that was the most desperate I had heard yet. "Yes, I am 31." Then he looked at my cousin and I and said, "Wow, if I am still single at 30 I think I will kill myself."
No lie, I can't make this stuff up! Anyway, after I picked my jaw up off the ground I tried to excuse myself to the bathroom thinking that then he would leave, he didn't. But my cousin let me in on this... "Once you left he said, 'Wow, she is over 30, that is hot. I think she wants me just a little'." Yea, right!!
That goes to show you that there are beer goggles and beer confidence. I hate to break it to this guy but if he keeps spouting off lines like this he may not live to see 30, single or not!

4 comments:

Korba said...

I will admit two things to you... Number 1 I have never ever been picked up or attempted to picked up in a bar, despite the fact that have very good size boobs... So the fact that you were being hit on is impressive to me, let alone the fact that he was a 20-something and thought that you were a 20 something. You GO girl!!! Also, I expect to live vicariously through you, again, So keep on posting! XOXOX -- Korba

Bastet said...

Wow, Kill himself...at his rate, he may as well get it over with. LOL! Really, was that a pick-up line?

mb said...

I am telling you, I cant make this stuff up... the truth IS so much better than fiction!!

Yaede Family Texas said...

He should have killed himself right there. What a loser. At the rate hes going he will be single at 30 possibly even 40. I had a similar experience in the grocery store. I was shopping with my son when I noticed this guy following me around the store. I was trying to be polite but he was freaking me out. Finally he said you look way to young to have a kid that age. I told him that I had a daughter that was 8 and I am not that young. Then he asked me how old I was. I told him that I was 31 and he kind of freaked. He started to follow behind me through the entire store stopping everyone saying can you believe she's 31. The worse part he was in his 50's.