Gym adventures....

So yesterday was my return to the gym after my 6+ week sebatical, I say 6+ because I don't even want to admit to myself just how long it has been. I have had my excuses, I mean reasons, as to why I haven't gone (house, weather, sicknesses, work, etc.) but lets face it... I didn't want to and it didn't take all that much convincing!
Anyway, so back to yesterday... my excuses had run out, and even though it was raining, I went. It was like a walk of shame, I hadn't seen any of these people in months, I mean weeks and then I had to put on my dreaded workout clothes. Now you have to see this was one of my main motivating factors... I feel like I am getting fluffy and I will not stand for it!! So, back to the gym... I change and almost break a sweat. It is so humid in there I already feel gross! This isn't going to be pretty! I will be sweating like a whore in church in under two minutes I just know it!
I walk into the gym and pick my poison... the black oliptical that backs up to the window, not the mirror. There I can see everyone in the gym and no one can see my ass bouncing away and the only negative is that the only shows on are The People's Court, ESPN, and the music video channel but I can handle it.
Three and a half minutes into my "workout" I spot a familiar face. No, I say to myself... not a chance. I keep chugging along. Then it hits me... Holy Shit! I think it is the bartender/ teacher, Son of a b...!! Now, not only am I highly out of shape but now I have to keep going... I can't stop, it is may pride on the line and if that really is him... he is looking a little fluffy (fluffier than I feel and much more than I remember... good for him for getting to the gym)!!! I resort to the stripper music on the iPod to keep me going... this isn't going to go well. Focus MB, FOCUS!! 18min into it "Hot gym guy" walks in. Ok, that is a good distraction! I keep going but I can feel the burn!! Thank God no one can hear the things going on in my head, then everyone would know just how crazy I am! PEDAL BACKWARD flashes on the oliptical... Ok, reverse it and I get back into the groove. George Michael's "Freedom" comes on the video channel. I switch my headphones and I am jammin out. If I was alone I would have been totally rockin' it! Did I mention the ammount of eye candy there yesterday? Apparently spring brings out the best... a couple of crew cuts and fine arms where were they all winter, and also all of those pretty co-eds, ugh, nicely tanned and perfect hair who only wear lip gloss... you wait till you are older, looks will only take you so far! Sorry, bitter detour! Anyway, I take a sip of water at the same time loosing my groove and almost bust ass. It is official... I will never be smooth or cool, why me?? Finally I am done, time to head upstairs to kill myself with crunches. I avoid the bartender... he is tuned into his tunes, I wouldn't want to disturb him.
I go upstairs and realize, I am about to die. I casually look down and notice that the bartender is walking out. Thank God, I can leave and take my out of shape, sweaty self home. No, no, NO!! Here he come up the steps. UGH! Back to it MB! I resort to stretching, it is the closest thing to laying down I can handle and there is an old man hogging the sit-up bench. Now on to leg lifts and then I am done! I fufilled my duties and I am done. I grab my stuff and go!
On my way to go and pick up Bug, I actually feel bad for not saying anything to the bartender. At least a friendly hey would have been nice. Lets face it I may be a lot of things but rude is not (mainly) one of them.
Fastforward to later that night... I do (one of) the most impersonal things... I text the bartender. "Hey stranger! Odd question, were you @ Merritt today? I wasn't sure if it was you or I would've said hey!" And he replies... "Good to hear from you. Nope, that would have been really embarrassing!" No shit, it would have been and all that over nothing! Oh well, such is my life!
A buddy of mine said it once... "Why is it that the things you think you hear are always funnier than what it really was?" Well here is my twist... Why is it the things you think you see are always crazier than what they really are?

The "money pit" is gone...

It is official... We have sold the house and I am thrilled!
No more mortgage on an empty house.
No more whining from the ex about having to take care of basic up keeping. No more stamps to pay the mortgage on a house that is empty.
No more feedback responses from the Realtor and excuses as to why someone doesn't like my house.
No more updates from the neighbors as to how bad the yard looks because the ex can't get up off of his lazy ass to do his part.
No more of the minister in my house.
No more guilt trips from the ex's dad about everything he has put into the house (point of clarification... I always paid my half, take that point up with your son!).
No more paying security, water, electricity, or gas bills on an empty house.
No more going broke and trying to stay out of foreclosure because of the crappiest loan in the world (that was given to us by a "friend of the family", I'm just saying).
No more any of it!!
So, here is when I say it: Good bye 4902, it was fun while it lasted!

Tongue tied...

Driving in the car today and Bug and I were talking about playgrounds. She (and I) are very happy that it is finally warm enough to play outside. Anyway, we are on our way back to school and she is talking about playing on the playground this afternoon and this is how that conversation went...

"You come play at playground Mommy?"
"No, I have to go back to work."
"You have a playground at work?"
"No, I have instruments at work. There is no room for a playground there but I sure wish I did!"
"I no have impotents, I have a playground."

And yes, you did read that right! Bug has a Snow Wipe and no impotents... Lucky girl!

Spring is in the air...

I just read an article in the local paper about the Rules of Spring. Well, I was inspired not only because I have been a slacker, or because of the warmer temps, but because everything is in full bloom! Whats not to love about the spring? Ok, allergies and pollen, I'll give you that but that is it!! Anyway, here are some of my own Rules of Spring...

You have the right to...
-take a sick day because you are just sick of being inside!
-leave work early to go to a concert or ball game.
-put those winter coats and clothes away, and then complain about it in two weeks when you need them on one freak day.
-wear flip-flops again (with freshly painted toenails of course)
-lay in the grass and look at the clouds
-sit on the back porch after work and crack open a cold one
-have cook-outs again
-go for a walk
-take a long lunch, outside
-open up your windows
-daydream
-walk barefoot in the grass
-find some Def Leppard on the radio, turn it way up, wind the windows down and sing at the top of your lungs... I did it yesterday at lunch, AWESOME!

Anyway, it is spring and you have the right to enjoy it!!

Driving Miss Daisy...

So Bug has developed a fun new habit of being quite the "backseat driver". While driving to work/ school the other morning I hear from the backseat, "Drive with two hands, Mommy." Well, it amused me and I really didn't think too much of it until the other night while my dad was driving Bug and I to the doctor (Monday's dog bite) she is wailing in the backseat then between sobs, "Papoo, drive with two hands." My dad, a little confused, asks what she said. I respond, "Dad, she wants you to drive with two hands. Put two hands on the steering wheel." Now what do you say to that? Nothing!
I am still trying to figure out where she came up with that one! And anyway, there is nothing like having a 2 1/2 year old backseat driver in the car with you, I can hardly wait till she is 10!

Not as bad as it seems...

So, what started out as a bad week has blossomed into a not so bad one all together!! Here I will give you the rundown...
Sunday... in bed way too late, this isn't going to be good!
Monday... Wake up an hour late and run late all day long. That night, right before bath, Bug gets bit by my parents dog and end up at the Patient First that night (no worries, she is ok but very much the drama queen!) and it is late to bed again!
Tuesday... Over sleep again, same story as Monday. My dog has a seizure as I walk in the door from work, wtf? This has never happen before!
Wednesday... To the vet for tests and have to wait for results till the next day. Also I have to "obtain a stool sample", ugh! Deal with FedEx and paperwork... details I won't go into!
Thursday... Drop samples off then get held up at the vet to wait for results (really late for work) Good news... all tests came up clear, still don't know what it may be but no major organ issues. After work I have to run and get a birthday gift for Dad (happy 60th) and go home and fix dinner (yummy). Dad got a job offer, Yea! At bedtime, I even got big hugs and an I Love You from my stingy Bug!
Friday... For the first time this week I got out of the house before 8am. Got my performance test results... I passed all of them, way to go me!! Tonight I am going out with my cous to celebrate her birthday, should be fun!
What a welcome turn around!

Time heals....

Sorry it has been a while, been busy at work, at home, in my head. Lots going on. I had some peace this weekend but I will get to that later.
Where to begin, hmm, well I will just start here. I was rather unsettled last week. A friend of mine misread my friendship and now maybe ruined it. I won't get into the details but it was childish and he is giving me no space to breath. I can't handle that... I need my space. We will see what happens.
On the other hand, I have made a new friend. I will leave it at that, there is nothing more to say but he is funny and I smile when I hear from him.
There was some 'activity' in a rather stag net area of my life lately. Get your mind out of the gutter!! I am being vague here on purpose, you know what they say about all of your eggs in one basket. This would help to turn a page in my life but one thing I read recently was "if you want to really know someone then get a divorce". What a brilliant and insightful person. It wasn't through marriage that I grew to know who my ex and his family really were, it was this past year when their true colors shone through. I am not talking about the ex here but his father. I won't go any further but, I will leave you with this... always listen to that 'feeling' inside that talks to you, it doesn't lie.
I have been doing a little looking inside recently. I know that there are some changes that I need to make. And yes, I did just wake up one day and decide this, actually, I went to bed and thought of this. But I did tell myself that it doesn't happen all at once and it is ok to take one step back every once in a while, I am only human. At church on Sunday they started a series on taking care of and healing your heart. And as hard as it was to pay attention with an antsy toddler the sermon really struck a chord. I won't go into the details but there was one specific thing that the priest said... "One will say, 'I am cynical, distant, and sarcastic because I have been hurt so bad. That is why I am the way I am. You would be too if you walked in my shoes.' And the other person will respond, 'I see, but how long will it take you to get over it' hand them a calendar 'when will you stop hurting and start healing. In a week, in a month, in a year? When you are healing you will have no reason to be that way.'"
Well, it has been over a year, to be honest, I don't know how long I have been hurting but I am trying to heal. I want don't want to have arguments and conversations in my head because I am afraid to have them out loud. I don't want to use slander as a way to make myself feel better. I don't even want to think that way anymore.
I was driving to a friends house the other day and Bug was napping in the back, as C said... a Calgon moment, and I was listening to the radio and was thinking healing my heart. A song came on the radio, Stealing Cinderella, and I just cried. I wasn't sad, I was so happy. I looked at the angel in my rear view mirror sleeping so peacefully and I had that same feeling I did a little over two years ago when I held her as an infant. I was overwhelmed, it was amazing. Later that night on my home... I turned the radio down just to listen to her exhausted little snores. How lucky am I?
Time heals you just have to be ready for it, right?