Normally I do not push politics...

But every once in a while something comes along to make me step over to the other side. And this is one of them... Baby Bush Toys. I don't know who came up with these but OMG they are brilliant. I have never seen someone grasp the essence of a person so well in a line of products.
I will be shopping for baby gifts pretty soon and these my find their way into one of those green and yellow bags. They are toys that raise your child's self esteem and not their IQ. Way to go!!
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: This entire entry is oozing with sarcasm... could you tell?

What a combination....

As I was sifting through my emails I was scanning through one from rachelraymag.com, and yes I am a huge fan! There were all sorts of quick and fun ideas for the Big Game on Sunday but this one really caught my eye... Beer Margarita. And as Rachel Ray would say... Yumm-O! Or if I amy go another route... As Joey Tribianni would say... Beer... Good! Margaritas.... Good! Whats not to like??
Stretch your culinary wings this Super Bowl and branch out from the ordinary buffalo wings, nachos, and Bud Light and get creative, I know I will! However, I will not be hosting any festivities this year, Bug and I will be at a friends house. But don't worry, I will be making something just a little different and I might even bring along some Beer Margaritas for everyone, who knows!!

Huge entertainment news....

Now in a day where idols like Brittany Spears, Jamie Lynn, and Paris Hilton thrive. And there is tragedy all over like the news of recession, war, political bashing, and George W leaving office (oh wait, that is good news). You really need to wonder why kids these days are the way they are. Even this weird muscle dude has been effected by all of the media (or steroids, either way it is funny).
I think it is these reasons why there is such a swing to nostolgia and the way things used to be. And that is why I am so excited to share with you the possibility that NKOTB may be reuniting!! Whether you were a fan or not, I believe it is cause to celebrate!
So bring back Danny, Donny, Joey, John, Jordan and bring back the good times!

Finally a full nights sleep...

After nearly a week, Bug let me sleep for almost a full night... Exciting!! But on the other hand... I have the cold (probably from lack of sleep). Anyway, I am coughing so hard my brain is rattling inside my head and my stomach muscles hurt. And I don't think that it is possible that one person could produce as much snot as I have in the past few days... But enough of my whining, I am begining to sound like a man!
So back to my night's sleep... To get me off to La La Land I dosed up on Mucinex and Sudafed and I will be the first tell you that I should NEVER take that before going to sleep. I have heard tha pregnancy dreams are crazy but none of mine would hold a candle to my Sudafed dreams!! They are bizarre and usually sexual in nature (I can only wonder where my deprived mind is these days... hmmm) which brings me to last nights escepades.
All I remember is bits and pieces but it invloved Axle Rose naked (I don't know either) but it was interesting to say the least! I wonder what tonight will hold... I will keep you posted!
POINT OF CLARIFICATION... it was Axle Rose circa 1980s not the creepy one today.

Maybe she will be a soccer player...

I laughed just the other day to a friend of mine about her daughter kicking Grandpa in the head and last night I got my payback... Sorry B!
I was talking to Bug about calling Daddy. This was at home after she kicked my wrist in the car when I was handing the phone to her so she could talk to him then, and yes he was on speaker phone when that happened and heard her scream, "NO! NO TALK DADDY!!". I can't blame you kid, but I gotta do what I gotta do!
Anyway, like I was saying... I told her that we have to talk to Daddy and she was pretty P.O.ed at me for telling her that, yes, she had to do something. So she said, "No!", wound up and kicked me right in the shin.
Ugh! You little... Time Out! No Kicking!! And my mom just watched in amazement!
And here is the best... In time out she pulled her pants down and sat there with her pull-ups hanging wide open and full of poop in protest!
(Desperate plea) Please tell me it gets easier?!?

Flagging in the mall....

I don't know what you called it but I distinctly remember that there was a period of time in sixth grade when it was actually fun to sneak up behind people and jerk their pants down to their ankles and this was called 'flagging'. I am sure you see what direction this is going in...
So the other day Bug and I were at the mall and we went into Gap Body, a bathing suit in the window caught my eye. Anyway, like most toddlers will do she dropped my hand and ran around the display then I heard her giggling. Hmmm? When I walked around the corner she had flagged the mannequin, she just jerked her panties to the ground. "
Oh... Bug!!"
"Mommy, she got boobies!"
"Yes, she does."
And mortified, I bend down and re-dress the dummy. And right next to us is a sales associate talking to a customer, actually, they were laughing at us!

You have heard of hiding the sausage but what about the toddler version...

It is called "Lets hide my Bah-bah and Ping-won right before Mommy needs to leave for work, it always seems to put her in a good mood!"
And in case you were wondering... it is a miserable game but luckily it only took me two days to figure it out! Yesterday on our was out the door I realized that we were minus the buddies (insert frustrated sigh) so we searched and searched and searched. Finally we found them in the bedroom on the dogs bed. When was she in there? Oh well, we are late, lets go!
This morning was the same routine... on our way out the door. Where are the buddies? First take a quick look around the den and kitchen, I could have sworn that they were here a minute ago! Next stop, the bedroom. There they are on my bed. Come on, lets go, we are running late again!
I think Bug does this when I go out to start the car but just wait till tomorrow... hopefully I will be awake enough to catch her at her own game!

New Feature....

Hey, check out Shoutbox (on the right of the screen). Just click on the link and a pop-up will appear and you can post you comments real time over there! May as well try it out and see how it works!

Goodbye to an old friend...

Well, I got the call yesterday evening on my way to pick up Bug. It was the ex calling to tell me that the first car that I purchased (and owned) is on his way to the big junkyard in the sky. He was in his second accident in a month, of course neither of them were his fault (insert eye rolling here) because nothing ever is!!
Anyway, it was the last one that finally put ole Ernie out of his misery. The funny thing is that when the ex told me I wasn't that upset, "Hmm, it happens" is all I said. Now this is where humor steps into the picture... The ex starts going on about how good Ernie was, he never did anything wrong, all he wanted to do was be a good car, Ernie didn't deserve this ending, it isn't fair to him, he was just sitting there and BAM! out of nowhere it was over... I actually had to bite my tongue, sounds like my marriage, doesn't it?? I just replied, "It happens."
Well, as I said, I am not too upset. I said my good byes already when I moved. He can have the insurance money... technically the car was his in the separation papers. But damn...that karma is a bitch, ain't it??

A muli topic post...

A Calm Acceptance

To all of those who have a child ages 3 or older... go ahead and start laughing now. For all of those with a child ages 2-3... sympathize with me. And all of those with a child under the age of 2... ha ha ha... brace yourself!!

I have been saying since Bug was 18 months that I am already dealing with the dreaded "Terrible Twos" but the joke was on me because... now I am!!! I had the first full on temper tantrum this weekend over bedtime on Friday night. There was kicking, screaming, flailing arms, squirming, and near biting (thank God it was only near biting or it may have thrown me over the edge).

I realized early on in motherhood that there is a thing that I like to call a "calm acceptance" that we will all achieve. The first time I experienced this phenomenon Bug was a few weeks old and it was in the middle of the night. We were up most of the night and she was cluster feeding and I was nursing, aka... a really long night for me! Anyway, it was about 4 in the morning and I had gotten no sleep and she was screaming, there was nothing I could do. I hit frustration then I went flying straight past it. I was tensing up and so stressed out... at that point I understood how a mother could hurt her child (I don't condone it but I understand). I started crying, heck that is all I could do then all at once it was a peaceful calm that just washed over me, a "calm acceptance" that there was nothing more I could do, my patience had been restored, and we could get through it.

Well, it happened again the other night. It took me over a half hour to get her to calm down but I had the patience of a saint. She screamed and cried. I rocked her and sang to her and negotiated her way into bed. Oh well, she finally went to sleep and I had a glass of wine.

Tot Town

The most amazing place in the world... the indoor play gym in the mall. Perfect for the cold and/or nasty days... just like today! After nap time today I resorted to taking her to the mall to play. I am telling you it was like the dog park for toddlers. I laughed for almost an hour at the puppy like pile-ups and all of the uncoordinated running.

I think the only funnier thing than the kids was the parents themselves. There where the overly cautious mothers (they held their child's hand the entire time), the fathers watching their children while their spouse was shopping (they had a tired/ distracted look on their face if they were paying attention at all), and then there was the other parents like myself... in a class of their own, of course, no, seriously, the normal ones (you keep an eye on your child and once out of your sight for more than a reasonable amount of time (aka... time to climb up the ladder and slide down and reappear) you stand up search and if that nets nothing you walk around searching with a pang of terror coursing through your body till you see your child in three to five seconds which feels like a half an hour). I did however notice the added bonus of Tot Town aside from the given, a worn out toddler... hot dads!!! There was a beautiful one with a nice heart shaped face with neatly kept facial hair and big brown eyes whom struck up a conversation with me. Hmmm... I think Bug and I will visit more often for her motor skills development of course!! And that brings me to...

10 Hour Date... A Follow Up

Let me start by saying that yes, I will give him another shot. But I thought of something that a single buddy of mine once told me. I was recently separated and we were discussing her most recent beau and she said that she just wasn't all of that into him... he was "too available". I must have given her the craziest look, "Now your just making things up now, is that even possible?" She stuck to her guns, "Yes! Too available!" I am sure that all of my married friends share my sediments and disbelief but I am here today to admit that I am switching positions (like most of the candidates these days). Please take no offense to this but once you are out of the dating game you are out of it completely almost like someone erased your brain! I can say that, I was there too!! Anyway... Yes it is entirely possible to be "too available" and I think that T fits in there!!! The big date was last Saturday, he called Monday and wanted to meet me for coffee on Wednesday night (and he is a telephone talker), I saw him on Wednesday night, he called Friday and wanted to know my plans for Saturday (I already had plans to go out with J). Now thats a whole lotta communicatin' for only knowing someone for a week! And like I told you in the beginning... I will give it one more shot but this one is not looking promising. I'll keep you posted!

One of THOSE days...

You know, one of those days where things just don't go right, not wrong, just not right. Well today was one of them! The morning started off innocent enough and without issue (aside from the fear of a headache) then I got to work and it started... my instrument was out of gas and I had to wait till noon when the gas guy finally showed up, a waste of half of the day... still not horrible! In comes the afternoon and my day starts rolling then I check my email... there it is... one from the ex, and they always brighten up my day (extreme sarcasm). This one is titled "Wanted to pass this by you..." Well sh*t, what now? Well it appears that he is starting to butter me up for week long visitation two states away with Bug. HELLO!! She didn't even stay with him in the hotel 3 weeks ago over night (in that case, even to nap) because of all of the changes that have been going on. She has never slept away from me, ever, and to add a little extra to the mix she and I are sharing a room now. Now tell me, at 27 1/2 months do you think she is ready to go away for a week to another state? You know what... I don't need an answer because it is NO! Now I just have to talk to him about it (wish me luck).
Anyway, after work I made it to the gym (way to go me!) and stopped at the grocery store before picking up Bug. Once Bug and I were on our final rout home I asked her if she wanted to help me make candy when we got home and of course she happily replied... "YES!" It was a battle to get inside the house, you see it was in the 70s yesterday and she saw her bike in the carport on the way in..."I want my bike, I want my bike, I want my bike!!!" Cross-eyed, I finally got her inside with promises that we could go back out in a minute, just let me put my stuff down. Quickly I pulled the good ole 1-2 distraction on her... "Bug, do you want to make candy??" "Yes Mommy!" So off to the kitchen to make the easiest candy ever... Crockpot Candy (FYI... if you adjust the recipe and decide that dried fruit would be good... add it at the end!!) after a few chocolate chips were eaten that is where the fun began (I will give you the condensed version)... We had two time-outs (for the same thing, not listening) in a row, a naked pee-pee on the den rug (with lots of giggling), crazy dog that wouldn't stop barking, feet on the dinner table, spilled milk on the other table (on purpose), a temper tantrum, one freak out because of my parents dog, my mother's smart comments on everything going on (mind you, this was all before 7:30 last night), the candy half burned to the crock-pot (see above note), my phone dying mid-conversation with T, and then to top it all off... I had to chase crazy dog back outside multiple times to make sure that she went potty before bed so that I didn't wake up this morning to surprises. And when I finally made it to bed (exhausted) I couldn't fall asleep. Please don't let tomorrow be like this!!!

In other news....

Happy 31st Birthday Dustin Diamond, or as the rest of us know him... Screech from Saved by the Bell and brother to Mike D(iamond) of the Beastie Boys. Your right, this has no relevance to any of our lives but I felt like it was noteworthy...
So anyway, happy birthday to you Screech! Cheers!

The 10 hour first date...

Yes you heard me right!
Lets just call him T. He is the fun one I met on New Years. We compared "baggage" and even though I had more, he came in a close second. We have similar situations. So anyway for starters, let me give you a little back story, I chose not to elaborate last week because even I couldn't keep up with my crazy thoughts! He called me on Wednesday afternoon and asked if I would like to do something on Saturday, say around 4, how does the museum sound? There is a Matisse exhibit that looks really interesting. Sounds great, I just have to line up a sitter and I will let you know. I got the sitter and now I am all set to go to the museum.... SH*T! It has been since high school that I went to the museum last. What am I going to do? The closest thing to art that I have seen is the masterpieces that Bug has brought home with crayon and feathers! He is so out of my league, what am I doing? I can handle bars, beer, and mini golf... Next thing I know it will be the opera. AAAhhh! Now aside from that, what do I wear?? Theses thoughts actually woke me up for two nights straight!
Fast-forward to Saturday... I settle on a cute brown and blue dress, brown cardigan, fish net tights tights and boots. Cute, sassy, appropriate for day and night, and the third thing I tried on that I didn't hate. Anyway, I met him in Towson (best way to avoid him seeing my living situation) and we were off. He opened my door and once we were inside (his very clean car) he gave me a little box of chocolates. So far, very good!!! On the way to the museum he asked me about Matisse and I was very honest... I haven't been to a museum in years! We laughed, neither had but said that it looked like it would be interesting! Definatly off to a good start! I had fun at the museum and I didn't once make as much as even a snicker at all of the nudes! I was on my best behavior! Side note... The ex texted me in the middle of the museum so the entire time my purse was vibrating (large vibrating things are nice under different circumstances ;)) Anyway, he wanted to know if the Bug could call him that night. I excused myself to the bathroom before we left and I did it... I bathroom txted. But seriously, go figure, right?! Back to the story...
Then it was off to dinner, a quiet place in Fells Point, the food was really good but the company was much better. We talked so much our food got cold and that was fine with me. We passed on dessert, maybe later (now don't you go getting any wise ideas here). He asked if I wanted to go salsa dancing... um... I told him I have two left feet, I don't know how good of an idea that is. He came back with, "I have two right feet so we should be fine." I still managed to get out of that one but only for now so then it was on to Federal Hill to a bar that he frequents, fun but sorta loud. I did get a confession there... I am his first date since his divorce. I smiled and said, "So, your saying that you are a virgin and I am your first? Wow, so many expectations to live up to!!" He chuckled and said, "I figured I would be honest with you." Wow! Now there is a concept! We switched bars and went to another one neither one of had ever been to and when we got in there, there was a magic show in progress on the stage. Now how cool is that? This guy was good! He even did a Harry Houdini escape trick while hanging from a bar on the ceiling. Crazy!
So, now it was getting late and we headed up the road and shared the chocolates in the car on the way. Once we got to Towson, he commented on how long it had been since he had been up there. We went inside to talk some more and the next thing I know is that it was almost two in the morning. He walked me to my car and yes, we kissed. It was nice, really nice. If you couldn't tell, I had a fantastic time and hopefully I will see him again.... I guess we will see!
UPDATE... He called today at lunch :)

It is official...

I am now a resident of the state of MD, and it only took me 3 months to get my lazy butt down to the DMV. But now I am the proud new owner of a MD driver's license. And just in case you are wondering, everyone there was just as happy and efficient as you would expect! My motivation... the elections are fast approaching in February and I would like to exercise my right to vote!

2008 will be better...

Or at least that is what I keep telling myself!
And so far so good!! New Years was a blast! J and I went out on the town... two single gals all dressed up and out for a good time! We started out at a co-worker of J's party downtown and from there we went to Bartenders, a bar in Canton where I met the weird forward dude I posted about already(UPDATE...he never did call). After that we left the group and ventured into Fells Point. Unfortunately, we misses a JB and her hubby by just minutes but we got stuck up in Canton longer than I thought. That is ok though... there was still fun to be had!!
Once we got into Fells (around 11:30) we realized that there were lines to get into some of the fun bars. That is ok too, we were now on a mission to get in somewhere. Luckily Kooper's wasn't too packed, actually we even got a seat at the bar (only one of course but it was close to the tv so we could see the ball drop) we started a tab and cheered to a girls night out!! We came up with a plan... once the ball dropped and everyone went to watch the fireworks we would dash next door to the Waterfront Hotel and grab a seat. Its easy to get in when no one is there!! Anyway, the fireworks were great and we got in to the Waterfront.
We met a new friend and some random dude asked me to dance and anyone who knows me knows that I have two left feet but what the hell, it is New Years right! Anyway he was wiggling his pelvis all up in my business and which meant that was also his last dance with me! The three of us discusses the past year's mishaps (aka: baggage) and guess who won with a landslide... Your right, me!! I think it was the whole minister-mistress and unemployed thing that set me over the top. See, I am a winner!!! Anyway, this new friend seemed nice enough and we all hung out till the closing time. He did ask for my number and I gave it to him , apparently I was handing them out left and right (seriously, only twice). UPDATE... he did call yesterday and I am seeing him this weekend.
Well, J and I headed out and found one other place that was open, a little Irish pub down the block so we headed in. We ordered another round (diet Coke, water, and one beer this time) and found a spot to hang out. We did notice that there were these two guys there checking us out. Now let me remind you that this was the end of the night and I was feeling pretty ballsy at this point of the night and I never did get a kiss at midnight so I took matters into my own hands. I walked right up to one of them and asked, "Did you ever get a kiss at midnight?" He said, "No". And I laid one right on him then looked at him, smiled and said, "Happy New Year!" turned and walked away! It was great, like a scene out of the movies or a tv show (or at least that is my story) but with my luck he was probably gay but I didn't give him time to argue.
J and I finally hailed a cab and headed home and got to bed around 3:30 which is really late when the Bug wakes you up at 7am. But hey, lets face it... New Years only happens once a year and as I said earlier 2008 is going to be a great year!

Do I have a sign on my head...

For the weirdest dude in the bar to hit on me?
So it is New Years Eve and I am out with J and some of her co-workers (I will post again about the rest of the night but this one deserves his own post... you'll see why, keep reading!) at a bar in Canton, it is early and the first of many bars. Anyway, I excuse myself to have a cigarette at the bar, as not to bother the others. Let me stop here and explain that I am only smoking when I am out drinking and MD had passed a no smoking in public places law effective yesterday. So, looks like the days of my social smoking are over (maybe resolution #!? Keep your fingers crossed).
Back to the story... That is when "Steve" (aka-weird forward dude) comes into the picture. He was already sitting there but he turns to me and asked if my friends kicked me out and I said no, but I didn't want to bother them.
Then he pops out with, "I hope you don't mind me saying so but you are gorgeous."
"Thank you"
"So, where is your football player boyfriend?"
"I don't have one"
"Well you look like you should. How can someone like you be single, you must intimidate all them men."
"No, but thanks. I am just coming out of a marriage and just moved back to the area."
"Wow, you don't look old enough to have been married. You only look about 23. You look like you just graduated from high school. How old are you?"
"Definatly not that young, I'm 31."
Then he asked about my job and he is a business broker and he has big plans for 2008. Big ideas and big plans! Oh yea, he also just of a long relationship in the end of '06 and is ready to move on now. He really reminded me of a pro-speed dater.
Anyway, he then comes out with, "You really are beautiful, I would like to date you, I hope you don't mind, I am a forward person. You seem very well spoken and usually I only attract bar floozies, I am much better than that I don't know what it is about me."
He went on for a bit about himself then asked for my number. Then I did it, I just can't lie or be mean but I gave him my number (I hope he miss typed it!) WHY DID I DO THAT? Maybe it was the tequila of the magic of New Years but whatever it was, I let my guard down and gave out digits!
Well, he said he would call on Wednesday (today) and asked if I like sushi... he knows a great place. And we would see where this goes then kissed my hand.
Thank God that J swooped in to save me towards the end but the damage was already done. We left to venture on to the next bar and they laughed their asses off at this latest winner! Please pray that he doesn't call (but if he does... I will so let you know!)